Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies Read online

  “Uh-huh,” Ted answered in a dreamy, after-sex voice.

  “I’m gonna take a shower and go downstairs to make Alexandria’s breakfast. We have a busy day ahead, and I need to run a few errands before I drop her off at Susan’s later this afternoon.”

  “Another sleepover?”

  “Yep.”

  Ted pulled Victoria on top of him and grinned. “That means we’ll have tonight all to ourselves.”

  “Mmmm, we sure will.” She nodded.

  They enjoyed a long kiss before Victoria rolled out of bed.

  That Thing ...

  Fresh from the shower, Victoria headed downstairs. She walked into her large family room, adjacent to the gourmet kitchen, and found Alexandria engrossed in the classic Big Bird’s Big Adventure. The movie held her complete attention. It was a treat for Alexandria, because Victoria and Ted didn’t allow her to watch television on weekdays unless it was educational programming. Weekends were her time to “veg out,” as they liked to say.

  Victoria poured Alexandria’s Cheerios into her cereal bowl and sat it on the breakfast table, along with a glass of orange juice. “Alexandria, come and eat your breakfast, sweetie,” she called out.

  Alexandria walked slowly toward the breakfast table, pulling out the chair closest to the family room, angling it so she could see the large-screen TV from where she sat.

  “Wash your hands before you eat, young lady,” Victoria said as she split a bagel and popped it into the toaster.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Alexandria made her way over to her step stool by the sink, singing along with the song that Big Bird was belting out.

  A few minutes later Ted walked into the kitchen, still wearing his pajama bottoms and T-shirt. He came up behind Victoria at the large granite island and rubbed his pelvis against her curvy backside. He lifted her heavy mass of hair to the side and kissed the crook of her neck.

  “Ted, your daughter’s right over there,” Victoria playfully cautioned, tilting her head to where Alexandria was sitting at the breakfast table.

  “She’s so into that DVD, she doesn’t even know we’re here.”

  “You’re probably right,” she laughed. “Didn’t you get enough this morning?”

  “Not hardly.” Ted held Victoria close and kissed the side of her neck again. She was his second wife, but his first and only love.

  After being trapped in a miserable marriage by a conniving, gold-digging wife for more than twenty years, Ted had given up on the possibility of emotional happiness, let alone the idea of love. Instead, he had concentrated on his career, successfully achieving the professional goals he’d set for himself by following in his father’s giant footsteps. But after moving from Los Angeles to Atlanta seven years ago to assume the position of CEO and part owner of ViaTech, one of the South-east region’s leading telecommunication companies, his plans all changed the day he met Victoria Small.

  At the time, she worked in ViaTech’s human resources department. When he first met her, it was literally love at first sight. She was tall, elegant, and startlingly beautiful. Everything about her had captivated him. She had earned an MBA from Wharton, which told him she was smart, and in a few short years she had risen to become one of the company’s youngest senior directors, which meant she was ambitious and business savvy.They were qualities he admired, and she ignited a fire in him that wouldn’t go away until he had her.

  He had spent months trying to get close to her under the guise of developing a professional working relationship, and his plan to woo her would have succeeded much sooner had it not been for Parker Brightwood. Parker had come into Victoria’s life one weekend and had swept her off her feet. Ted cursed himself for not acting sooner or telling Victoria exactly how he felt about her from the beginning. But he had been caught in a delicate situation. He was her boss, and at the time he was still married.

  He removed the largest obstacle by filing for divorce, ending the paper-thin facade he had called a marriage. But there was still the sticky proposition of having an office romance, so he used discretion in his pursuit. Then there were the other issues: age and race. He was twelve yearsVictoria’s senior. It wasn’t a significant age gap and didn’t seem to bother Victoria in the least. But what Ted soon discovered was that the larger issue at hand was his race. He was white, she was black, and she’d made it clear that the two didn’t mix in her romantic dealings.

  Initially, Ted was disappointed to learn she felt that way. And to compound matters, his mother and Victoria’s father had both expressed contrary views on the subject. He almost felt defeated because Parker had an automatic leg up by consequence of birth. His ethnic heritage guaranteed him a seat at the table. But after nearly a year of quiet, yet patient pursuit, Ted finally won Victoria’s heart. He knew the love they shared was real, and it conquered a world of challenges.

  Victoria and Ted joined their daughter at the breakfast table, and soon each of them was immersed in their own world: Alexandria chomping down on her cereal in between songs and giggles with Big Bird, Ted reading the Wall Street Journal while trying to balance his bagel and coffee, and Victoria checking her BlackBerry in between sips of her peppermint tea.

  After a few minutes, Ted lowered his paper and turned his attention to Victoria. “What time does that thing start today?”

  Victoria stopped in mid text and stared at him. She knew exactly what he was talking about, and she didn’t like the way he had just referred to Alexandria’s first Jack and Jill playdate as “that thing.” She knew that Ted was still uncomfortable about their daughter’s membership in the elite social organization for African American children. It had taken several discussions on the matter before she finally convinced him to let Alexandria join.

  They’d gone round and round about the issue. “Ted, growing up, I was a member of Jack and Jill, and it was a wonderful experience,” Victoria had told him several months ago, when she filled out Alexandria’s legacy membership application. “This will give Alexandria a chance to interact with kids who look like her, and it’ll expose her to social and cultural experiences that I know you’ll appreciate once you give it a chance.”

  For Victoria, their daughter’s membership in the organization wasn’t an issue that was up for debate. Alexandria was one of only a handful of black children in the exclusive neighborhood where they lived, as well as at the preschool she had been attending for the last two years. And while Ted was as white as any white man could be, thanks to Victoria, Alexandria’s complexion clearly provoked questions about her racial background. She was a lightly toasted cream color, and she stood out in the sea of white faces that surrounded her every day.

  “It’s not a thing. It’s a playdate,” Victoria said with slight irritation, “and it starts at eleven. They’ll have games and lunch for the kids, and then I’ll pick her up around two this afternoon.”

  When Alexandria heard the word playdate, she turned her attention from her movie to her parents. “Will there be lots of kids for me to play with?” She brightened.

  “Yes, sweetie.” Victoria smiled. “There will be lots of kids there.”

  “Yea!” Alexandria cheered. She was an only child, and she eagerly jumped at any opportunity to be around other children.

  Ted shifted his weight in his chair. “Will there be other kids there like her?” he asked, this time with a little irritation in his voice, too.

  Again,Victoria knew exactly what he was hinting at. “Certainly, all the children attending today will be in her age group, and from what I’ve been told, there’s almost an even number of girls and boys. She’ll have a ball.” Victoria smiled, leaning over and tickling Alexandria on her side.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know exactly what you meant,” Victoria responded in a sugary sweet voice, cutting Ted a look that contradicted her tone. She was happy that, for once, her naturally intuitive daughter was so caught up in the excitement of her pending playdate that she hadn’t picked up on the tension that had j
ust blanketed the room. She pushed Alexandria’s empty cereal bowl to the side. “Sweetie, why don’t you go upstairs and start brushing your teeth. I’ll be up in a minute to help you pick out a nice outfit for today, okay?”

  “Okay, Mommy.” Alexandria obeyed. She hopped down from her chair and headed upstairs.

  Victoria and Ted sat in silence until they were sure their daughter was out of earshot.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Victoria asked, peering into Ted’s deep ocean-blue eyes. “How could you ask a question like that in front of Alexandria?”

  “V, you said that you wanted her to join this organization so she can be around kids like her. Well, she’s not just African American, you know.” Ted folded his newspaper, placing it to the side. “Will there be any white kids or biracial kids there?”

  Victoria let out a huff. “We’ve been through this before. You know full well that it’s a black organization.”

  “My point exactly. I don’t understand the necessity of her joining Jack and Jill. She’s already in a playgroup at her school,” Ted pointed out. “I thought we decided a long time ago that we weren’t going to expose Alexandria to anything that was exclusionary.”

  Victoria threw up her hands, taking a deep breath as she looked out their large bay window. “Well, we better put the house up for sale. Take a good look around you.”

  “This neighborhood isn’t exclusively white, but Jack and Jill is exclusively black,”Ted responded.

  “Other than the two black families in this neighborhood—whose children are in high school, by the way—and half a handful at her school, Alexandria’s always in the minority in her everyday environment. I know what that’s like, Ted ... but you don’t. And even though Alexandria just turned five, she sees the difference, too.”

  “What do you mean, she sees the difference?”

  “You know that she’s always been inquisitive and is a bit more knowing than the average child her age... .”

  “Yes, I know, but what are you saying?”

  Victoria put down her BlackBerry, locking eyes with her husband. “The other day Alexandria asked me, ‘Mommy, if you’re black and Daddy’s white ... what am I?’ ”

  They sat in silence again, staring at each other. Ted was at a temporary loss for words. He had been warned by his mother that this day would come, and logically, he knew this was a natural question for Alexandria to ask. But he hadn’t anticipated it to come so soon. His little princess was still so young.

  “What did you tell her?” he asked.

  “I told her the truth. That yes ... Mommy is black and Daddy is white, and that she’s the best of both of us,” Victoria said, leaning back in her chair. “It seemed to satisfy her, but, Ted, whether you want to face it or not, society has already labeled our child. There will be times when she will have to identify.”

  “Why do you always think she’s going to have to choose one over the other?”

  “Why do you think she’ll never have to?”Victoria countered, shaking her head.

  This was an issue that sometimes left them at odds, the struggle over their daughter’s racial identity. Victoria knew that the discord would only grow as Alexandria matured in age, and the thought of having to constantly fight to infuse her African American roots into her daughter’s life was something that she knew would wear thin.

  “Because we live in a global world,” Ted continued. “Things have changed since we were Alexandria’s age.You act like we’re living in the Jim Crow era.”

  Victoria smirked. “Hah, Jim Crow was blatant. What I’m talking about is the subtlety of twenty-first-century racism. It’s cloaked so well that you don’t even see it. Hell, it’s got you drinking the Kool-Aid. You haven’t been ostracized in your social circle for being married to me, but it’s only because of who you are and the economic status you hold. But trust me, they’ve talked about us under their breaths.”

  Ted shook his head, turning his eyes away from his wife, knowing she was right.

  “As much as you love Alexandria and me, and as open-minded as you are, you still have a blind spot when it comes to race. Are you just that oblivious, or do you purposely choose to ignore it?”

  The air between them became thick with discomfort.

  “I’m not oblivious about how things work,” Ted answered. “I’m immersed in corporate America, remember? I understood the prejudice we were going to face long before we got married,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “We simply have different views on the subject. Alexandria’s just five years old, V ... five years old,” he stressed. “I don’t want her to feel like she has to choose anything right now.”

  “But, Ted, we’ve been teaching her how to make choices since she was old enough to speak her first words. Please, let’s be clear about this.” Victoria paused. “You don’t want her to have to make choices when it involves race.”

  “V—”

  Victoria interrupted him. “Before we got married, I told you my concerns about us raising children and the struggles we would face, and you were the one who said you were ready to deal with anything that came our way, remember? Well, it’s time to start dealing.”

  Ted let out a deep breath filled with frustration. He didn’t want to argue so early in the morning, especially after they had gotten the day off to such a good start. He decided that it wasn’t the time to tackle such a delicate debate, so he reached over and put his hand on top of Victoria’s. “I love my family, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and Alexandria. I’m not oblivious, and I won’t make blind decisions that will hurt us. This is just something I feel strongly about.”

  “And so do I.”

  Ted leaned in close, prepared to give in, but only for the moment. “I hope Alexandria has a good time today.” He smiled. “I really do.”

  Although Victoria knew that he meant every word coming from his mouth, what he just said didn’t arrest her worries, because she knew what her husband didn’t—that this was just the beginning. She wished she could wave a magic wand and change the last three hundred fifty years of American history. This was a war she had been suited up to fight all her life, but it was a new battle for Ted, and she knew that he would never fully understand the complexities of what it meant to be black in America.

  “I’m heading upstairs, because we’ve got to leave soon,” Victoria said. She grabbed her BlackBerry and rose from the table. She leaned over and kissed Ted lightly on the lips. “We’ll work through this, together.”

  Ted kissed her back and nodded his head. He watched his wife as she walked out of the room, and thought about the question his daughter had asked. What am I?

  He’s Quite a Catch... .

  Victoria’s stomach was a bundle of squiggly lines and nervous jitters. It had been that way since she had arrived at Hilda Barrett’s house a half hour ago. She looked down at her watch. Damn! Thirty minutes to go. That was how long it would be before she could get the hell out of there!

  She couldn’t wait to make a beeline out the door and head straight to her car. Even though she would have to return in a few hours to pick up Alexandria from her first Jack and Jill playdate, she knew that she needed to leave now, before her temples throbbed any harder.

  She was sitting on a large paisley-print sofa with her legs crossed, trying to concentrate on the information that Hilda, the current chapter president, was delivering to the parents of the newly minted crop of young Jack and Jill darlings. Even though Victoria knew the information like she had written it herself, she tried to focus hard on the words coming out of Hilda’s mouth. Focusing would help take her mind off the man sitting across the room.The one causing her nerves to fray at the edges.

  She’d spotted him as soon as she and Alexandria had arrived. He’d been bent down on one knee, whispering something to an adorable little boy who looked like his “mini me.” He rubbed his hands over his perfectly shaven bald head, then over the child’s thick mass of black curls, which mimicked the ones he had briefly sported s
everal years ago. When he stood, he looked as handsome and sexy as she remembered. His neatly creased trousers and white polo shirt hung well on his tall frame. She couldn’t help but notice and admire the fact that his golden-colored skin was still smooth and his dimples were still alluring. His brown eyes were still piercing, and his muscular body was still in tip-top condition.

  He had looked at her, then down at Alexandria, before focusing his enticing baby browns back on her again. He stared for a few uncomfortable moments before Victoria finally looked away. His gaze made her feel flushed and nervous.

  “Mommy, what’s wrong?” Alexandria had asked, tugging at the lightweight material of Victoria’s sundress, sensing the change in her mother’s mood.

  “Nothing’s wrong, sweetie,” Victoria softly reassured her. When she looked in his direction again, she saw that one of the other parents had just come up and engaged him in what looked like a deep conversation, taking his attention off of her.

  After one of the parent volunteers escorted Alexandria and the rest of the children back to the sunroom,Victoria had tried to make casual conversation with two other mothers in attendance. They were standing in the large living room, nibbling on fruit, waiting for Hilda to start the welcome meeting.

  Victoria zoned in and out of the ladies’ mindless Q&A. “Where do you live?” “What do you do?” “What sorority did you pledge?” “Are you a legacy?” All the typical questions in that type of circle, which usually bored her to tears. It wasn’t until she caught the tail end of what one of the women was saying that she realized the conversation had shifted to him.

  “He’s the top gun in charge at the Carlyle Fraser Heart Center at Emory,” the chatty woman said. Her name was Roberta Stevens. She was short and superthin with a whiny voice, the kind that was primed for nagging. “He’s one of my husband’s top clients ... with Merck, you know.” She smiled with a wave of her fragile-looking hand. “He’s also president of the Association of Black Cardiologists, on the board of the Boys and Girls Club, and he’s very involved with his son. He’s quite a catch.”